I Still Wanna Go Home

I awaken quite early since I have retired, in fact it is the same 4:30 or 5 am that I woke while working.  I guess old habits die hard.  This morning, as usual, I feed my cat, made a pot of coffee, turned on my laptop and began reading my email.

I subscribe to a friend’s blog – The Sixties 101 – and thoroughly enjoy reading his daily post with my first cup of java.  This morning his blog brought tears to my eyes necessitating me to leave my office to get myself some Kleenex.  Upon my return to my desk, I happened to see something on the wall above my bedroom door.  There it was.

Since I live alone, there was only me to kill this thing.  I climbed up on my kitchen stool armed with a fly swatter and attempted to end this arachnid’s life.  The first swat I took missed because obviously the thing saw it coming; it scurried up the wall higher (I have 15 foot ceilings).  I climbed to the top step and thankfully, I downed it with my second swat.  I climbed down the step stool, took off my flip-flop and smashed the thing just to be sure.  Next, I have to pick it up and flush it down the toilet.  I was shaking uncontrollably.  It took several deep breaths and talking to myself before I could calm down. 

I guess I can add arachnophobia to my list of reasons why I want to move back to the East Coast.  The spiders I encountered on the South Shore of Long Island were not so formidable. 

The following post was published on June 12, 2010 in my other blog, The Desert Southwest Artist, titled Raptors and Robin Red Breasts.

Arizona’s fine, sunshine most of the time
The feeling is laid back
Palm trees grow and the rents are low
But you know I keep thinking about
Making my way back

While eating dinner the other night, I glanced out the window to my backyard.  There sitting atop the Mexican Honeysuckle bush is this huge Peregrine Falcon.  I left the table to walk closer to the window so I could see this site better.   As I did so, the Falcon swooped down to the ground below.  He was out of sight because of my rose bushes.

Well, I’m New York City born and raised
But nowadays, I’m lost between two shores
Arizona’s fine, but it ain’t home
New York’s home but it ain’t mine no more

I walked into the living room to see if I could see him, and by the time I got there, he was perched on the fountain in my garden.  I ran to get my camera and was able to get this shot of him.

When I tried to open the sliding glass door, he flew away carrying his prey, probably a small ground squirrel.    You see, I had started to feed the birds in the feeders on top of the garden wall, but stopped because the ground squirrels were climbing the wall and eating the bread I put out for the birds.  Now the little guys are running around my yard looking for food.  Oh, how I can’t stand rodents of any kind –  so Mr.  Falcon is welcome in my garden and I hope he scares the ground squirrels away.

I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
I am, I cried
I am, said I
And I am lost, and I can’t even say why
Leavin’ me lonely still

After that National Geographic moment, I thought of my childhood and the first sign of Spring – the Robin Red Breast. 

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I’ve tried but it won’t let me go
And I’m not a woman who likes to swear
But I’ve never cared for the sound of being alone

Oh, how I can remember sitting at the dinner table of my youth, actually it was called supper back when I was young; and looking out the window.  As a child, one of the biggest thrills was to see the first Robin of Spring.  The Robin signaled the approach of summer and that spurred thoughts of the ocean and no more school.  http://nysparks.state.ny.us/parks/10/details.aspx

I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
I am, I cried
I am, said I
And I am lost, and I can’t even say why
I am, I said
I am, I cried

One thing  is always certain – and that is Change!  Nothing stays the same forever.

2 responses to “I Still Wanna Go Home

  1. Looks to me Arlene that you’re having some advendures in your own home, but no way are you bored! Lol! I don’t like to know you’re distressed, please take time to take a deep breath because all will turn out well–trust me.

    I will call you soon. I just been busy with a bad back and I’m getting treated.

    Paz mi querida y preciosa amiga,



  2. I sure hope you know they have many spiders back East, maybe not so big
    but they are there non the less! Congrats on being able to kill it all by yourself.


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